These days feel longer as they grow darker
These days my heart is full of love and lust and lonely longing (and all the lovely contradictions)
These days my heart is out East with you, though I’m heading across the ocean with only me
These days I notice all the cloud formations in the sky, and the incremental change of hues in the leaves on the trees
These days I am collecting memories as I collect rocks on the shoreline
These days I am sometimes inspired to take on the world, and sometimes can’t even get out of bed
These days I smile to myself as I capture moments and find beauty in the moody days
These days I’ve re-read all my old essays and re-ignited my fiery spark for feminist critical thought
These days I sometimes just crave softness and harmony and blissful, comfortable ignorance
These days my heavy body feels like a stranger, yet also feels intimate when it grows aware with stillness
These days I devour books like I devour bags of potato chips
These days, These days…
There are stretches of silence, and ceaseless chattering in my head, and voices I love on the other end of the line (or screen)
There are setbacks and possibilities and laughter and heart-stopping doubts
There are vices and victories, and connection and contention
There is peace and curiosity and speakers up, windows down, singing the Be Good Tanyas driving through country roads, and old Rainer Maria songs at stoplights (“traffic lights, turning yellow. A kiss and a slap on the roof”)
These days I feel freedom, yet still feel confined, and don’t even know what I want anymore.
These days, I realize it’s all in my mind, and it’s all about perspective.
and Leonard Cohen sings, “there’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in…”
How are your days?
What have you discovered?
What have you learned?